Didn’t I say that I hate it when dudes who I’ve previously been involved with ignore me? In the past less-than-24-hours these two things have happened:
1) Yesterday on my way to the coffee shop I saw a guy I went out with a few times, we made eye contact, I took out my obviously un-ringing phone, pressed it against my ear, and said “Hello?” to dead air to avoid an awkward conversation-wave-thing with him.
2) This morning as I was finishing my run at the track I saw a guy I went out with several weeks ago and pretended I was so absorbed in my workout that I wasn’t aware of him, continued to avoid eye contact while I was stretching, and then left as quickly as possible.
You guys! I am a perpetrator of the very behavior I despise!
It’s difficult to navigate the weird territory of having briefly–very briefly–dated someone. I want to be friendly, but it’s just so damn awkward. (I mean, I guess it doesn’t have to be, but it is.) We went out, and then one/both of us decided that that wasn’t worth doing again. Now what?
Both of the guys I’ve mentioned are really nice, good people, and I don’t have any hard feelings toward them. We normally say hello when we run into each other, and our interactions are always perfectly polite. I appreciate the fact that they’re still willing to acknowledge me, unlike so many other dudes I’ve dated. But then there are times when the idea of interacting with them suddenly feels like the most. uncomfortable. thing. ever. I don’t know why this happens, but when it does I find that I can’t bring myself to utter a simple “hey.” And then I feel like an asshole.
BUT! Is it really so wrong? If these had been men that I’d been serious with for a long time, I wouldn’t ignore them. As I’ve written about before, I don’t think it’s very kind to pretend that people you once had feelings for/were intimate with don’t exist. However, since these particular guys are at acquaintance/casual friend status with me, am I a terrible person for skipping a passing greeting? Sometimes I just want to walk across campus without having to engage with love interests gone awry. So sue me.
Besides, there are very few people I would make a point of saying hi to while wearing my workout clothes. Trust me, it’s not a pretty sight.