Lately, because my thesis is due in 16 days (but who’s counting, really?), I’ve been checking my email pretty obsessively. It’s the most justifiable way to procrastinate because You! Never! Know! when a very important message may come through, and you’ll likely need to answer it right away. Yesterday I was checking my inbox upwards of ten times an hour (this thesis is looooong, my friends), and then resorted to just keeping it open, not receiving much important mail. I took a brief break from all things internet to eat dinner, and when I sat down at my desk again this was waiting for me:
Someone has invited you to join IvyDate.
IvyDate is a private, exclusive and members-only community for extraordinary people.
Please use the following non-transferrable link to learn more and register for complimentary access. Once registered, you will have the ability to invite up to three extraordinary friends.
Invitations to IvyDate are based on personal, professional and academic excellence. Our team has connected thousands of the most accomplished men and women in the country, and we look forward to welcoming you to our unique community. If you are no longer single, we kindly ask you to disregard this invitation, and wish you the very best in your relationship.
IvyDate Team Connecting Extraordinary People
I’m a little horrified. First of all, how did this random website know that I am a bitter single girl just dying to meet “accomplished men”? I don’t even go to an Ivy League school! Second of all, while I appreciate the (unfounded) assertion that I am “extraordinary” (thanks!), any interest that I could have had in IvyDate was immediately negated by the elitism of their slogan. Sure, I’d love to date a smart dude, but not someone who thinks he’s too good for all the other dating sites. Sheesh.
I am all for internet dating. I don’t think it’s for me (my paranoid disposition means that even the assurance of meeting strangers in very well-lit public places with lots of cops nearby is still pretty terrifying), but my general theory is that you never know where you might meet someone great so it’s best not to rule anything out. Plus, I’ve heard tons of success stories about couples who met online and have wonderful, fulfilling relationships. The man that I sat next to on the plane when I was flying back to school on Sunday told me that he’d met his “lady” online and that they’d been together for nine years. A lot of the blogs I read are about online dating, so I’m well aware that even the bad experiences that can result from dating websites are good for a hilarious story or two. English major me also likes the idea of getting to pre-screen a potential boyfriend’s spelling and grammar before deciding if I want to go out with him.
But, like I said, I don’t think online dating is right for me–at least right now. And certainly not on IvyDate.com. After all, how would I choose just three extraordinary friends out of all my awesome gal pals? What I really want to know is who the “someone” is who sent this to me. My guess is that it’s just a gimmick, but maybe not. Until I find out, I’m assuming that it’s a sign from the universe that I need to step up my dating game.
[Editorial Note: It has recently come to my attention that many, many other people at my school were also invited to IvyDate, and that it’s advertised on Texts From Last Night. So much for being “extraordinary”…]